u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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