i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
North Korea, Best Korea!
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
