hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
