I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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