just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
