I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
is it fun? or sober?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
