In the future we'll all be gay
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
