.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
