is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
