are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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