Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
be right there i have to get my cape
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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