Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
