he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
