U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Randomize
