I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
