You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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