haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
