Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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