brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Randomize
