a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
