Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize
