Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
