How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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