if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
