I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize