WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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