I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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