They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
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