I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
