so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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