you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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