he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
