It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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