4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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