dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The best revenge is premature balding
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
