Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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