Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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