i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize