It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
