Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
