Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
only if we run a train.
done.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
