i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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