I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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