Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
