OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize