very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
it's like heaven, but drunker
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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