Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Randomize
