Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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