I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
