shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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