Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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