omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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