I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
