Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
