why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
