haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize