I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
