Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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