Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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