i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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