Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(770): View more from Georgia

Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard

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(701): View more from North Dakota

I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm

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(250): View more from British Columbia

Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship

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(843): View more from South Carolina

Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling

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(331): View more from Illinois

I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?

(1-331): View more from Illinois

A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs

(201): View more from New Jersey

And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again

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